Yun Qi Chen’s Ultimate Solution

Yun Qi Chen is the President, Immediate Past President, and Probably Future President of The Definitive Leaders of Australian Jewry (D-LAJ). [1]

He prefers to be known as, “The Pres” in order to appeal to Gen X/Y Jews.

While he applauds the seriousness with which thinkers such as Melbourne University’s Dvir Abramovich, approach the problem of how best to sanctify the Holocaust, The Pres is concerned that Dr Abramovich has not gone far enough.

The Pres is similarly concerned with Isi Leibler’s softly-softly approach to anti-Israel hate speech.

Below is The Pres’s definitive, ultimate, and final solution to Holocaust commemoration and proper Zionist discourse.

Alex Fein


The Ultimate Solution

by Yun Qi Chen

Over the past few years, the community has witnessed a shocking increase in Australian anti-Semitism.

We must acknowledge that Australian Jews are now in grave danger due to the lack of sensitivity exhibited by ordinary Australians towards Jewish issues.

It is for this reason that we at D-LAJ (formerly, The Real Official Jewish Leaders of Australian Communal Heritage – or ROJLACH) have devised a plan that will ensure the security of our way of life for all time.

We also intend to export this model to other Jewish communities around the world, so that our nation should Never Again feel threatened by the superficiality and meanness of the non-Jewish world.

Our plan of attack is divided into two areas:

1)     As hard as it is to comprehend, the Holocaust is all too often mentioned by those without European Jewish ancestors!

It is even selfishly being hijacked by groups such as, gypsies and homosexuals![2]

Even worse, this superficiality is now extended to cinematic representations of the Holocaust!

Any artistic interpretation of the Holocaust is obviously a desecration of the memory of the Six Million, and cannot be allowed to stand without comment!
2)     Our other focus is the State of Israel.

D-LAJ is committed to stamping out criticism of the State, which we all know is a mask for anti-Semitism.

But we must remember that Israel is an outgrowth of the Holocaust.

This means that in any defense of Israel (and remember, Israel depends totally on Australian Jewish protection for its survival) has to come out of “Awareness” of the Holocaust, because criticism of Israel is criticism of the memory of the Holocaust.
Our plan must begin in the schools! We have to draw the Australian youth into our circle before the pro-Arab media in this country gain control of their minds.

To this end, we first need the children to understand the uniqueness of the Holocaust and the struggles of the Jewish people.

We will therefore be condemning as unacceptable all mention of other national “tragedies” to ensure that no one erroneously believes that anyone has suffered like the Jews.

The supposed discomfort of the Aborigines would therefore no longer be acceptable on any school curriculum.[3]

In actually teaching the correct responses to the Holocaust, we must ensure that every student should receive 10 lashes (with no room for leniency for weaker students – where was the mercy for the weak in the camps?) and have electric charges that run through their chairs for the entire lesson.

School gyms should now also be equipped with instruments of torture for students who are not sufficiently serious about the topic.
The next group that must be targeted for a better understanding of the Jewish tragedy is the profoundly anti-Semitic Australian media.
Their ignorance is clearly the source of their anti-Israel bias and animosity towards all Jews.

In order to adequately re-educate them, all journalists from all media sectors – even local publications, in-house Church newsletters, and school newspapers –  will be interned in an “education” camp to better understand Jewish suffering.

Our vision for the camp entails a “Room 101,” in which journalists are forced to face their greatest fear (spiders, snakes, The Jewish Lobby…).

Our research shows that the levels of fear experienced by these journalists will directly correlate with their burgeoning appreciation for Israel.

At the end of the “programme,” we will then provide them with the definitive history of Israel to soothe them, just as Israel has soothed all Jewish agonies.
Finally, we must target the politicians.

Initially all politicians (federal, state and local) will be subject to constant harassment, similar to that felt by the Jews of Germany in the 1930s.

Their education will conclude with each politician taking up a front line post with the Israeli army to better acquaint them with the “Palestinian” (there is no such nationality – the occupying forces in Palestine are clearly recent migrants from Jordan).

We hope that the truth of the Arab hatred of peace will become fully apparent at this time.
It is possible that the above curricula may result in a number of deaths.

We cannot, however, allow anti-Semites who oppose our plan prevail. If we do, we are simply finishing what Hitler started![4]

[1] If you haven’t guessed…

[2] If you still haven’t guessed…

[3] Really, you should have guessed by now…

[4] This is satire. The author of this piece does not really believe anything he has written.

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Related posts:

  1. Oh Dvir! Now It’s Official
  2. Michael Fagenblat’s Presentation at the Seven Jewish Children Reading
  3. AJN – Loose Lips and the Holocaust
  4. Winning Friends and Influencing People 3: Anti-Semitism, The Hiatus, and Secret GLBT Business.
  5. A Brief History of The Sensible Jew

8 Responses to “Yun Qi Chen’s Ultimate Solution”

  1. [...] This isn’t bad for sensible jew. This is kind of funny: mockery of Dvir Abramovich and Isi Leibler. Published [...]

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  2. Morry says:

    Silly man! Just convert the whole world to Judaism by popular decree … problem solved!

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  3. james says:

    Even though im not a Jew, i would like to make a comment.
    In my in my 15 year old memory, i have for once witness an attempt by someone, to at least acknowledge the complicity of the Jewish community; of the injustices of the Palestinian people and the illegitimacy of the state of Israel. And also, the insidious hold that the Jewish power bodies have on the media. But it is a shame that senior writers such as Dvir Abramovich cease to acknowledge the inflammatory opinion of some “Jewish youths” have been largely influenced by secular beliefs that has cultivated by the emotional plight of Jews. Which all and all, does not justify the means of requiring the land of Palestine through brute force. Though I do agree with him that individuals will have different views, the emotional thrust of past events would inevitably present with some Jews of the “recovery” of an ancient civilisation as a national imperative, and therefore, justified. In other words, the creation of an Israel state would rise above moral grounds that has been treasured by civilised people, even if it does mean the displacement of another people. And ultimately, the thousands of death that has littered the grounds of Gaza and other regions. The origins of such views initiated the political movement of Zionism, and which Abramovich defends!

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    • Alex Fein says:

      I’m sorry James, but I have to call it as I see it here: the media, academic, and literary landscape is REPLETE with Jews supporting Palestinian rights.

      Unless I have misunderstood you (and you are not suggesting that there are next to no such Jews), I must suggest you hop onto Google ASAP.

      Just type in Jewish Support Palestinian and you will be shown a tiny proportion of the masses of writing and activity out there. To suggest otherwise is to distort reality profoundly.

      Similarly, the history of Jews and Zionism is incredibly complicated and requires committed, good faith research to understand properly.

    • Mohan says:

      James Please read the writings of Israel Shahak, Uri Aveneri, Ralph Schoenmann, Lenni Brenner, Tanya Reinhart, Illan Pappe, Jeff Halper, Uri Davis, Amira Hass, Gideon Levy, Norman Finkelstien and Noam Chomsky. They are all Jewish (nominally at least) and mostly Israeli citizens.

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  4. Athina says:

    James, I agree. However, it shouldn’t be important whether you are Jewish or not. That is the problem. The many worldwide citizens who support Palestinian human rights are not interested in any of the protaganists’ race, colour or religion. The issue is one a occupation, colonisation and a foreign nation that has literally gotten away with murder for over half a century. They have used their religion to hide behind and justify war crimes.
    It is time for decent people- all races and religions, including Jews- to bring israel to heel and start obeying international law.
    As for non-Israelis supporting Israel just because they are Jewish- this is obscene and bigoted. We are all human beings and classifying people as Jews or non-Jews is some thing Zionists have in common with the Nazis.

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    • Alex Fein says:

      Athina, this comment is off topic. The topic is, PR.

      But it is so self-righhteous, and self-unaware (inasmuch as its obsessive focus on Israel to the exclusion of some pretty nasty places and militaries that make the IDF look like your nana, tipsy at a bar-mitzva), that I will leave it up as a curiosity.

    • TheSadducee says:


      Better cut this thread off before Morry arrives! :)

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